Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief


Saturday night song
October 31, 2009, 8:40 pm
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A little ditty for Halloween.



Blessed Martyrs of Douai College
October 30, 2009, 8:56 pm
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from Universalis (Westminster Calendar):

The English College at Douai was founded in 1569 to educate English Catholics, and in particular to act as a seminary training priests to enter England covertly, minister to English Catholics, and attempt the re-conversion of England to the faith. Simply being a Catholic priest was high treason in England at this time, with the penalty of hanging, drawing and quartering, and more than 160 of the priests from Douai were thus executed.

The seminary at Ushaw was founded at Douai. It relocated to Durham in the early 19th century.



Knitted acorns and contraception
October 30, 2009, 12:42 pm
Filed under: the scenic route

Just had to post this notice of a seminar I received by email this morning, as it’s such a sweet picture. No idea how it relates to the seminar though. Perhaps I’m too innocent to understand…

catholic-theology-durham



Kyrie Eleison (Josquin Des Prez)
October 29, 2009, 10:21 pm
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Cinematic chicken soup
October 28, 2009, 7:33 pm
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I had to laugh when I spotted this ‘feel happy, feel good’ thumbs-up sticker in HMV at the weekend:

feel-good-brian

Life of Brian *is* one of my ‘comfort’ films. I don’t know if that’s highly inappropriate now, or if it’s actually even more fitting… another one is Evolution, a very stupid, very funny film with David Duchovny and Orlando Jones. But I forgot to see if that had been similarly stickered.

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Jude the Obscure
October 28, 2009, 9:28 am
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I probably don’t have the best view of marriage, and occasionally I do like to blame Thomas Hardy for his contribution. Jude is one of the most depressing films I’ve ever seen (on the other hand, I haven’t yet seen Revolutionary Road). The book is even worse; it makes the film look like a rom-com.

On Sunday after a rather traumatic Mass, I was thinking again about the anomaly of the church’s judgement that the orthodox churches have valid sacraments when those same churches allow re-marriage [update: it has since been pointed out to me that the second and third marriages are not accepted as valid]. And the messiness that will ensue with the new anglican provision and married clergy (possibly even remarried clergy?!); the more I think about it the less I understand.

All of which is a roundabout way of saying: Saint Jude, pray for us.

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Kyrie Eleison
October 27, 2009, 8:38 pm
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Back to Basics: Beatitudes
October 26, 2009, 8:11 am
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h/t @reckshow



“Observe, little girls”
October 26, 2009, 1:15 am
Filed under: the scenic route

I saw this film on tv, and then read the book, at an impressionable age. One of its themes is vocations, and influence – dangerous influence, perhaps.  I didn’t know that Muriel Spark was a catholic. I want to see the film again but I don’t think it’s available on DVD.  In the book, you get ‘flash-forwards’ that aren’t part of the film story, and it turned out that the schoolgirl Sandy becomes a nun. Now it seems quite funny – I had completely over-identified with Sandy in the film. I wonder what I would think of her now.



Prayer of St Francis of Assisi
October 25, 2009, 7:10 pm
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Legend of St Francis: Dream of Innocent III

Legend of St Francis: Dream of Innocent III

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Amen



A Good Priest
October 25, 2009, 4:06 pm
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To put it bluntly, the common stereotype of a catholic priest is of a paedophile. At best, when they are not thought of as actual criminals, the view is of a stern and forbidding man who promulgates hate or at least, makes people feel like complete shit about themselves.

There have been so many scandals that I already knew there were bad priests. Everyone on the planet knows that there are bad priests. What has been a joy is that over the past 18 months or so I have discovered that there are also good priests.

I don’t normally name people in this blog as it is largely anonymous, but for the record I would like to pay tribute to a retired priest at the cathedral, Fr John Skivington. I think he is probably what you would call ‘Spirit of Vatican 2′ but I don’t think that’s a very helpful label. What do people want from priests? Really? I think ultimately it boils down to saying the Mass, and being there when they are needed. As for me, I think of the priesthood as a kind of interface with God. They are consecrated to God. I think the prayers of a priest, and the blessing of a priest, means something profound. That’s why a priest who abuses children is worse than any other person in authority who commits the same crime. It’s a kind of blasphemy. But it also means, for those other priests,- you remember; the ones who aren’t criminals – that in the everyday course of things, they should be shown respect by the faithful.

Fr John was the main priest who attended the RCIA course that I was on, although he was not the official catechist. He is retired and legally blind, but still celebrates Mass at the cathedral, and gives of his time to various other activities to the benefit of the lay faithful.

A typical illustration of the kind of priest he is: I hadn’t seen him much over the summer, but then a couple of weeks ago I was able to attend a lunchtime Mass. I sat near the back and heard someone come in to sit on the pew behind me. When it came to the sign of peace, I turned around and found that it was Fr John. When it came to communion, I sat where I was. He was kneeling behind me in prayer, and leant over and asked if I’d had my first communion. I replied that I had not been baptised. “Well, do you mind if I give you a blessing?” he asked. And, kneeling where he was, he put his hands on my shoulders and blessed me, before going up to receive communion himself.

All human beings are different, and likewise, priests differ in their gifts and what they bring to the church. One of Fr John’s great gifts is the gift of empathy, the gift of encouragement, and always he reminds us that God wants us to love Him and each other. He is a man of great prayer and a large heart, who has spent decades in faithful service to God and the church. For what it’s worth (and I realise that may not be very much) I think he’s a good and holy man, a kind priest, and a faithful catholic. In a time when the church and the wider world is discovering just how many bad priests there have been – and probably still are – I feel very grateful to have his example to set against that.



Real presence
October 24, 2009, 9:25 am
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What a strange week this has been for me on very many levels, some pertinent to the focus of this blog, some not.

In Methodist Central Hall, at an Intelligence Squared debate, 248 people voted for the motion ‘The Catholic Church is a force for good in the world’ , 1876  against and 34 don’t know. The terrible thing about this is that before the debate, only 1102 were against, with 346 who weren’t sure. But the truly terrible thing, for me, is that the points of the debate that appear to have swung the vote against the church are those very things where I agree with Stephen Fry & Christopher Hitchens: sexual orientation, contraception and the ever-present scandal of institutional cover-up of sexual abuse by clergy. If I had been in that hall, I’m not sure I would have voted for the motion. And I want to be a catholic. This is not a good situation.

So, why be a catholic? Or to put it another way, why not become an anglican? And as if the pope could read my mind, the very next day there is a joint catholic-anglican announcement about… well, I don’t really understand what it is, but the upshot means that lots of traditional anglicans can become catholics while still retaining crucial anglican bits. And I don’t really know what that means either. I think it comes under the category of A Good Thing. Some trad catholics have been jumping up and down with glee at how it might annoy liberal catholics, and some liberal catholics have indeed been annoyed – and so I can’t help feeling they’re all slightly missing the point of christian unity.

I did laugh (well, more of a long giggling fit) when I read that the National Secular Society called it ‘bigot-rustling’.  But it did make me think: is the difference between catholicism and the anglican church really to do with sexual orientation and gender in the priesthood? Or to put it another way, is the central defining feature of roman catholicism its judgements on homosexuality?

And so, on to the little epiphanies that light our way. On Thursday I visited Durham Cathedral. I have lived in the North East since 2002 but, including Thursday’s visit, I have only been inside Durham Cathedral twice. Shameful I know. The first time I was an atheist. If ound the cathedral astonishing. This time, I went in as a believer. The cathedral was still astonishing, but it was also… empty. Beautiful and ambitious and grand, and on and on with whatever superlatives one might wish to use; but no tabernacle. No red sanctuary lamp. No real presence.

And I was astonished, because I didn’t appreciate before then how much of a difference it makes. And I went home, and I thought of all the catholic churches I’ve been in, and when I went to sleep that night, it was with a strange map of Tyneside in my head punctuated by bronze doors and red lamps.

update: well, just shows how much I know. Michael Sadgrove, Dean of Durham Cathedral, has pointed out in the comments that the Blessed Sacrament is reserved in the cathedral. It is in the Gregory Chapel off the North Transept. I don’t know why I didn’t find the chapel, and will visit it next time; my sincere apologies.